The Week of the Chicken

I would like to use this post to say farewell to my least favourite house mate. Kevin the Chicken.

Two weeks ago I got home to find a large, self-assured chicken wandering around the kitchen of our shared house. This was weird but then my living arrangements are unusual to begin with. I rent a room in the headquarters of a women’s organisation called AMA. That stands for Association of Altiplano (highland) Women. Essentially then I live in a house run by Mayan Feminists, which is a contradiction in terms as Maya culture is very cuddly and all about an undying world spirit but it’s also sexist as hell. To have a daughter is seen as disappointing. 

So good for these women I say although goodness knows what they think of me, an enormous lard coloured foreigner meandering about the house they come to sew and work in everyday. The looks of alarm I get when emerging in my towel to go for my morning shower are deep and unfortunate.

But at least I don’t crow my head off at 4 in the morning. It turns out Kevin was a gift from the women of one community to AMA. Now I might have suggested a plasma screen but we got Kevin, who pock-pock-pocked his way round our house like he owned it for a week. To make matters worse Girlfriend took a strange fancy to Kevin and I would come home at night to find her talking to Kevin and even petting his comb. The little devil would close his little chickeny eyes and hold his head out, thoroughly enjoying attentions that should have been mine.

Well goodbye Kevin, you have now been taken away to be eaten. Good. That’s the last time I let a girlfriend of mine stroke a foreign cock. By way of tribute we offer the above video. That is GF saying ‘crow you fucker’ but she assures me this is not dirty talk. At the end he goes out doing what he did best. Making a big, chickeny noise.

Kevin-2007 2007 (last week)